What matters is not how successful you are, but how you lived... What matters is not how many you knew, but how many that remembered you and grieved over the loss of you... What matters is not how many you loved, but how long you are remembered by those that loved you... What matters is not how much you've learnt, but how much you've thought... How much that you've impacted others is not a matter of chance or circumstances, but its one of choice...
I've lived a life of 21, walking down a route unfamiliar to me... Cutting corners, meeting splits, following signs, lost, misled, mistaken and wronged... If I were to be gone someday, how many will remember I once lived? If I were to be missing someday, how many will actually panic and look for me? I am but a commoner of limited status and knowledge... The number of people that benefitted from my appearance were no where far from none... I am but somebody whose name is written on the wall, repainted or tore down... I am but no one... No one am I...
always waiting. -12:47 PM
Monday, November 2, 2009
Life is just like an uneven pattern, A repetitive journal constantly written. A story of regret, sorrow and pain, A tough walk with nothing to gain. Yet people continued feeling the faint.
Oh how then can people continue to live such lives? Stringing the same words, singing the same song. A life of nothing but pain and agony, such intolerable void with nothing but empty conversations filled with empty words.
A booklet of pictures for you to pain, Rainbow or taint up to you to stain. My life a mixture, a series of events. Not even nor equal I could never prevent.
Of bleakness or meekness, Which do you seek?
Like a hollow shell left by the abandoned hermit. I lost my spirit, my heart, my merit. If only one day I would be faced with salvation. A hand that leads me out of elimination.
Speak then with courage and not haste, Of wisdom and strength, Make them your rock, your guide, Your very sage.
Perhaps you've never thought through how things should and would go... Perhaps you've never been through the kind of things that happened to others... Perhaps... Its just an excuse... Nothing will definitely happen in a certain way... There is bound to be changes every now and then... Nothing will stay the same forever... Not you, not me... Not the tree you see outside your house every single day... Not the taste of green tea that you've liked so much... Not the smell of the perfume you've been wearing all your life... My life has changed so much ever since you've came into my life... And now it's going to change again... Something drastic... Something unpredictable... Something both you and I had never expected since then... All the thoughts we used to harbour, can be buried in the backs of our mind... They shall never surface any more... Not in the near future, Not forever...
always waiting. -1:42 PM
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The past month have been quite drastic... Things hasn't really been going well... Neither was it too bad either... Many things have changed... Yet nothing seems to change at all...
Its kinda contradicting... Yet so true to it... Its really a month full of extreme ups and extreme downs... Making my mood swing so drastically too... Many a times I try to act normal... Yet I know deep inside I ain't normal at all... I've lost the interest in sleeping and eating... Or so it seems... I'm unable to sleep at home... Yet unable to eat well in camp... What exactly is happening to me?? I don't understand anymore..
I wish somebody will just get me out of this... Yet I want nobody else to know that much... I appreciate all those people said to me... Seriously I do... But somethings you just can never do anything about it... However much I try to change it, it never happens...
Fuck my life man... I swear...
always waiting. -6:53 PM
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I know some things I can never forget.. Never let go... But some things I can still do... I never told you the real truth... Its just actually for me to know... Thats enough... No matter what kind of bad portray I get... What sorts of name I'm called... I'll just swallow it... I am just a selfish person that doesn't deserve to enter your life... Yet you've brought me light... Even if you are the only light that came into my life... Its sufficient... I may live in darkness for the rest of my life... But having felt this warmth once is enough... I'm contented to have saw the light once... I'm sure your life will go on... Mine will too... Each footsteps you left in my path will always be there... Whenever I look back, I'll definitely see it right behind me... Time may come to a standstill, but don't feel bad about it... You were the one I'm most grateful towards... I thank you from the bottom of my heart... But my heart will not be divided again... Don't worry, I'll never be chained by your shadows... Because I've already lived my life in it... From when we started, till now, maybe till the future... I'm not sure how long it'll last... I may not open my heart any longer... But I've never regretted any part of this before... I asked you once "Its better for you to understand me more first, for I am not what you think I am... I don't want you to regret.." I probably will never know if you did... But thank you for being the first to open my heart... Maybe you may be the last, maybe not... But all I want to say is that I've never loved somebody this much before... Maybe I won't anymore... But at least I once did... Please be happy... I left only hoping that I'll never be a hinder to your life... I know I'm starting to be a burden... I'm sorry for dragging you for so long... Please smile forever... Thats the only thing I wish for... For you to gain the happiness I never was able to give you...
always waiting. -9:06 PM
Monday, October 19, 2009
Everyone lives with their past... Holding on to memories they bear so dearly... Its something that can never be changed.. Something that cannot be erased.. Something that though may be forgotten, but still lingers somewhere inside of you... No matter how long has passed... How far you've gone... How much you've been through.. Somethings will never be replaced... Finding a replacement is just cheating yourself... Just making yourself feel better... Cause everyone knows that it is never the same...
always waiting. -4:27 PM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I think it'll be a new start.. I believe it'll be possible..
always waiting. -4:40 PM
the one who waits.
Name: Justin Yeow Zhenglun
Bdae: 16th July 1988
Contact:justinyzl@hotmail.com
